Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

This film really made me think about who I want to be to the people I love the most, and how I want to interact with people I want to get to know.

In Joel, I see the part of me that wants to be emotionally intimate but can't find the words. In Clementine, I see an image of myself I want to set free. Joel struggles with the emotional numbness and blindness that comes with hegemonic masculinity, whereas Clementine isn't afraid to express herself through clothing and social interaction.

The central themes of the film, memory and love, are beautifully explored. The experiences we create with people bleed into who we are and how we act. We shape each other irreversibly. That there will be a last moment together should be no hinderance to wholeheartedly embracing and moulding the people around us.

The relationship between Joel and Clementine is sweet. From first meeting Joel, Clementine shares all her thoughts with him. By the end, Joel learns too to be vulnerable, to share his emotional baggage with Clementine. It is only then that he can approach the relationship without the anxiety of heartbreak. Instead, it is a journey they embark on together, whatever the outcome.

Columbus (2017)

Columbus reminds me that the most valuable relationships can be the slowest. You don't need passion to profoundly change each other. Just talking through your desires and troubles can constitute life-changing moments.

Jin's relationship with his father provides important representation for those of us who struggle to connect with our parents. I've been thinking about what I will be left with when my mother dies. Jin encapsulates the emptiness I want to avoid, his father's notebook the fragmented memory of shallow interactions I could be left to decipher. I'm trying to be more emotionally present with my mother, connect with her more, be present in her fears, her motivations, her loves, her hates. Feel with her rather than be a passive observer.

A recurring theme in media is that men are withdrawn. Casey's relationship with her mother provides a stark foil to Jin's withdrawal. They share space with each other, talk through their problems, embrace each other. Warm, comfy relationships between age brackets are brought to focus in this film, and are shown to be beautiful and transformative.